4. The Letter of the Law. It sounds a lot like “Black Letter Law,” but has a tototally different meaning. If you use this phrase, people assume that you are about to invoke “the spirit of the law,” which is a mistake. Because the law has no spirit. Mitigate. It’s an important word in contracts (“duty to mitigate”) and it is just fun to say. Try it out a few times. Plus, you can conjugate it and really bring the hammer in class by saying things like, “The damage here is mitigated by the fact …” See, genius. Caveat Emptor. Just say “buyer beware.” Please. (Author’s note – the key “buyer beware” case in most property law classes is the infamous Stambovsky v. Ackley case, which is about a haunted house and features an opinion riddled with bad puns like “this case doesn’t have ghost of a chance.” Your author will probably write about this case in the future and feature it as Exhibit A in the argument that professors do not have the first clue about what it is that law students find “fun.”)
2. 3. USE
1. Black Letter Law. This refers to the standard principals that are known and free from dispute, but typically not compiled in one source. This phrase is a great stall technique, because you can almost always answer a professor’s question with: “Well, there’s no black letter law for this issue.” This is obvious (because if there was established law, the professor wouldn’t ask you a question about it), but the phrasing will make them think you are really grappling with the issue’s complexity and that you have investigated the source material seeking a consensus. Quid Pro Quo. People will often avoid Latin terms for fear of sounding pretentious, but this is one one place where the use makes since. You actually sound more ridiculous trying to describe quid pro quo without using the actual terms. “What we have here is a situation where one party is doing something for another party with the promise that they will resipricate and do something for said party.” Now that sounds ridiculous. Plus, you are going to want to get comfortable with this phrase if you ever plan to work in a supervisory position (ahem, sexual harrassment, ahem). Ex Post Facto. it means “after the fact” or “retroactive law,” both of which are easier to say. When in doubt, ditch the Latin. 5. 3. Slippery Slope. Forwarding a Slippery Slope argument is a great way to win the hearts and minds of your peers and professors … in college. For many reasons (some of which are valid, some of which are aribtrary), worrying over a “slippery slope” is greated with nothing more than an eyeroll in law school. It is seen as simplistic and the “easy way out” of tricky legal questions. Your author personally finds people who hate the use of “slippery slope” more annoying than the people who use the phrase, but you are still best served avoiding it altogether. After all, who wants to jump into that kind of hotbed of controversy! Coaseian. This works especially well if you are at a “law and econ” school like the University of Chicago. Instead of talking about the social cost of a situation, discuss the “Coaseian” implications. Ronald Coase would be proud and your professor will be impressed. If you are really bold, you can even – appropos of nothing – suggest applying Coaseian Economics to the problem of North Korea. 5. DON’T USE
1. Onerous. This is a word, not a phrase, but it is a great one to use to sound like a lawyer. Attorneys and legal scholars love to label laws onerous or egregious. Onerous is best used when knocking down a “straw man” argument (a phrase for another day!). For instance: “Those against capital punishment argue that putting someone to death is too onerous, but in reality …” (I bet you would love to hear the end of this hypothetical statement. “Putting someone to death might not be unduly burdensome to the now dead person? Please explain!”)
4. 2. Framers. Never, ever mention the “Framers” of the United States Constitution. Doing so puts you on the path to original intent, aka, the path to debate hell. The surest way to place yourself on the radar of the lamest, most argumentative, most brown-nosing gunner in your class is to start talking about the framers of the Consitution. This one is to be avoided if you value your sanity. If you are going to attend law school, you need to know which tricky legal phrases to use (so you can sound smart, which is 90% of the battle) and which to avoid so that you don’t sound like a total douche. This will be yet another ongoing theme on this blog, because if there is one thing that blogs need it is ongoing themes. We’ll break it down into top five lists; five phrases to use, five phrases to avoid.
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